BABY!

Hello everyone!!! I'm in Chiang Mai picking up some English books, currently sitting in an internet cafe and JUST FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE A BRAND NEW BABY NEPHEW!!!!! hurrayyyy!!! My sister is a Mom... wow. So... I wanted to scam a picture off of facebook and show you Naomi and Josh's very own Oliver Jordan :). Oh.... beautiful :).

thoughts on being 'there'.

Thankyou for being an avenue where I can toss out my thoughts.
Perhaps I haven't thought about this enough. Agh, it never fails to prompt an ever-ready flow of tears though. Bah.

Today after I taught in the morning we hosted a group of 'global college' university students from the States. There were about twenty of them and Jamie (an other volunteer), myself, and Sompop (mostly Jamie and Sompop) presented on DEPDC and the people that we exist to serve. That man is so unsensationalizing and true to the facts... yet stuns me every time with just the facts, without trying to get donations through pulling at your heart strings, just... with the facts. Today he spoke about one of the first girls he met 20 years ago that prompted him to build DEPDC. He was hired to research the origins of girls in the sex industry in Thailand. His research took him all over the hill tribes and border towns of Northern Thailand. In the villages he met many girls who had siblings in the sex trade and other exploitative work. They were asking Kun Sompop why he was researching and if he was a teacher. They said they wanted to go to school... one girl was scheduled to go to Pattaya, like her older sister. The girl said she did not want to go to Pattaya, because her older sister told her she would have to sleep with foreigners, and sometimes they are very fat and they hurt her a lot. Kun Sompop continued to say he gave the money he had to buy her text books... and that is how a 3 month temporary research project turned into 20 years of DEPDC I guess :S.

I have started loving these kids. It really is the reality of my essays that I wrote last year. I live in the reality... And I have to stop believing that people are just safe because I love them... because I recognize them and I know their names. I was talking with Tone, one of my students from Myanmar, about his family. I showed him by drawing on the board the people in my family and all my siblings: Simon and Jen and their kids, Naomi and Josh (Naomi's stick figure had a big belly!), and Jonna and Alison. I even drew our dog, Pippa. I'm so proud of my big family and love them SO much... haha, naively, I was excited to have a captive audience to listen to everyone's names and ages. I asked Tone if he had a brother. Yes. I asked if he had a sister. Yes. I asked him what their names are. He sat there, stunned for a bit. I asked again, slower and in a different way. He said he does not know. They both went to Bangkok and he does not even remember their names. I erased my crowd of white-out marker Canadian stick figures. Hm. Frustrated at myself and my obvious cultural ignorance, I drew Tone and his Mom, and his friends from school and our class instead.

Also. Brad and I were riding past some fields and I was looking out at the workers, thinking what good pictures I could take. And then I thought, if I put those pictures up people would tell me, 'wow! That's so cool! I can't believe you're actually there!'. So... my thought is... how did I get to be the person riding past on a motorcycle getting props for being 'there', and not the person working in the fields for a pittance, the person who makes it 'cool' and 'there'... yet goes home to a hovel every night... if they even have a hovel?

Mmm. yep. Just wanted to spill some thoughts...

oo! on a side note... this made me laugh... during his presentation to the University students Kun Sompop (in his very broken English) said a couple months volunteering is 'same same' with four years of University :S. He said a few months volunteering makes you realize why you are even at University. I think... that... speaking from someone that is very irresponsibly taking a break from her education, I would agree. I wish I was more educated for this job so I could give more, but I'm not sure I would have had the drive and focus and knowledge of how to be educated if I hadn't come, you know? That was one of my goals: to learn how I can be educated in order to be best used in this field. I'm excited to go back to school. I'm also very impressed with anyone reading this who has had the determination to be in school for four years straight... I will graduate... someday... I promise! Props to you ;).

Cheers friends...
. When ever I write a blog, I wonder, 'does this get read?'
. and I think... that even if it doesn't... I still like getting my thoughts out.
And Mom... I know you read my blogs ;) hehe.

where I live :)

Here is my address;
a few people have been asking after it:

Nicola Gladwell
190/1 Moo 8 Soi 2
Wiengpangkham,
Mae Sai, Chiang Rai
57130 Thailand

You can see on the map where the NGO is: DEPDC. The main road is called, 'Thanon Yay' (big road). I live on one of the side roads (soi) right about where is says 'Chiang Rai'. Chiang Rai is the largish town an hour or so down the road. I hope you can see it... its a bit small.

Mm. today I am feeling overwhelmed :S.

cold days and warm milk

I have been wearing my only pair of socks for the last couple of days in a row. I pulled out the Nepali sweater/jacket I made before I left, and have been wearing my only pair of pants as well. It’s winter in Thailand, and I had definitely underestimated what the temperature would be! After endless crystal blue, the last full week only had grey skies. So sad! My kids are wearing toques, earmuffs, balaclavas, and mittens. *sigh. Today I taught two of my classes outside with a little white-outboard on the lawn because it was too cold in the concrete-walled centre.

This week I have really enjoyed my friend Brad being here, being able to ride on his motorcy rather than biking everywhere, and sitting for hours chatting and reading in a coffee shop downtown. Recently we drove to a large cave south of here, borrowed a gas lantern, and wandered through cave tunnels for an hour. Yesterday we went to the second-highest mountain in Thailand, Doi Tung, a gorgeous forested peak that I can see out the office window. The top was mostly pine and the smell was both nostalgic and heavenly. I’m also enjoying sweetened warm milk. I don’t think the milk men know how much they mean to me...

I went to the little mission Church again this Sunday with Brad. Oh... those kids sound like angels. Really. After Church we were invited to have lunch with the teachers again and then played half-court basketball with some of the younger boys. It was so funny to see such a tall Dutch guy play with little Thais half his size... haha. Its awfully humbling to be called 'teacher' just because I am white. Even after Brad said he wasn't a teacher all the kids still called him that. Very humbling. Though, maybe its because they can't pronounce our names...

One thing that I’m having a really hard time with is planning lessons/creating syllabi without knowing what my students have learned (the last teacher took no lesson notes) and where I can take them from here. I feel like I understand the Thai language much more than the English language (if you have never tried to teach English before; let this be know: English has few rules; only some of them make sense, and all of them are always broken.). I have seven classes and no syllabi for any of them... and have so far planned 12-15 individual English classes each week.

I’m getting very attached to my little town, to the weekly highlights of church, the Sunday market, and going to the coffee shop. I feel like I haven’t had stability in such a long time… and believe it or not, these 6-7 months that I’ll be living here will be the longest I’ve lived anywhere at one time since… Bible College 4 years ago. It feels good :).

The high light of today was reading with some students after lunch. I wish I had volunteers to read with them! Practice helps SO much… I really think one book is far better than a 50 minute lesson. I had six kids sounding out the words at the same time while I held the book up for them all to read. If anyone has the books about Jane and Tom (See Jane run. Jane runs fast.) that build off each previous book's vocabulary… we need to have a chat. I can pay for postage if you’d like ;).

Right now my days are filled with lesson planning, trying to come up with ways to teach all the different levels in one lesson, forming syllabi, etc… I’m beginning to feel so comfortable and busied with teaching here that I am forgetting why I came. I often forget that these kids are so directly at risk of being exploited. How could they be? That happens to people know one knows, doesn’t it? Little Seelee-pong, Lannoi or Sang-dtee… they’re all becoming close to me, and thinking about what could happen in the future without huge preventative measures makes me burn with anger and weep at the same time (oh… and comes the tears. Why am I so emotional?). Even today some of my kids stopped calling me ‘Teacher’ in favour of ‘Phi Nicci’... a tag name inviting the person into one's family: Phi means ‘older sibling’. Yet, why do I have only three kids in grade six, and thirty-one in grade one? Walking through the villages around here you can point out every house that has external income… brightly coloured concrete buildings with gates and balconies right next to wooden shanties on stilts. I always tend to think the best of people and couldn’t bear to think of all the children in the community that would have had to be sent away for most of the houses to look like that… I still can’t believe it, but that’s what the Thai staff who have been here for twenty years say. *sigh. Anyway. I’m not trying to sensationalize, I’m just trying to remind myself of the reality that my growing bubble of comfort and joy sits right in the middle of. H’anyway. Love to you all.

Oh! I also got my first letter! Thank-you Owen Sound Alliance Church! Hurray! It's sitting on my desk :).

Blessings all.

Nicola

'my monks', and my first passenger!

Hello! Wow... so many good thoughts on my last blog.

I just got a wonderful e-mail from one of my best friends. Thank you God for friends. Seriously. Amazing invention.

This week I've started to teach at CLC- a Community Learning Centre on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights. It's at the Centre here as well. My students are 6 Buddhist monks aged 16-22. It's interesting... I keep forgetting the rules :S. Monks are not allowed to touch girls in any way- even in passing, in sitting beside someone on a jostling bus, etc. I cannot even pass something directly to them. When I come beside them they move far away so they won't touch me; when I pass them a marker, they motion for me to put it on the table for them to pick up. The first time this happened I was slightly offended for a couple seconds before I reasoned with myself. I don't think it is because I am unworthy of passing something to them; I think they are intentionally avoiding any circumstances at all that would provide temptation. I respect that. That's cool. I do like making them laugh though :). Last night I had 'my monks' listening to 'Daddio'- my Neice's favourite song- on my ipod speakers, filling in the blanks of the lyrics I had them copy. Oh, I had to try hard not to laugh! If you've never heard the monk-rendition of 'Daddio'... it's worth a listen to :). I don't know where you would find one though...

A friend is also visiting me this week! One of the guys I tree-planted with in Thunder Bay is travelling SE Asia, and he's staying with us in Mae Sai for almost a week! It's so nice to have an other friend :). The first day he got here I 'picked him up' at Tesco on.... heck yes. My Tandem bicycle. Which is not actually tandem. We rigged up this sweet system of fitting his big backpack upside down in my front basket, he peddled, and I hung on on the back seat. After a test drive through the parking lot we tried it on the three-lane highway. I was so impressed! After we dumped his stuff off at my house we explored the town on our bike, taking turns peddling. Ah. My first ever passenger! :).

Cheers everybody! :)

thoughts of a curious economist

I'm not a very math minded person... or economically, financially, or any of those either. BUT... I just want to comment on living in a society where everything isn't owned by corporations. We have Tesco 'Lotus', from England, and 7/11... two of which you can't really get away without going to. But everything else I can think of is privately owned or family run. With this structure, I can see how the economy would rise and fall very quickly when people get jobs or loose them. When I arrived, I thought I could only pay for rent... a mere $60 Cad a month. My budget didn't allow for anything luxurious... but now our landlord has my housemate and I teaching 12+ kids English in her front yard for four hours each weekend (I'm not quite sure how that happened). However, with this small added 'income' we can support our community by paying a house cleaner, and for a woman to do the laundry. I can even go and get hot milk more often.. yum. When my 'income' passes to the next hands, they can circulate theirs around the community too. I like this idea. I want to go back to school and learn more about this... I think they're on to something ;).

And... now I don't have to do my wash my own laundry by hand anymore :) hurray!

one week gone already :S

Hi friends!
I arrived in Mae Sai on Friday, November 6th. So I've been here for just over a week. The pictures you see are of DEPDC, one of the soccer field and some low mountains, and one of the front of the main building. All the paintings are done by the kids and visiting volunteers- this one was done by a group from a University in Wisconsin that come every summer. The first floor is a meeting area and stage, and you can see the weaving looms in the room behind. The second floor houses all five classrooms, the education office, the foreign department office, and a small presentation/meeting room. The third floor is where the kids living at the Centre live. Tuesday I started classes for the Half Day School (HDS) here. In the mornings, DEPDC provides free schooling to kids in the community and from Myanmar who cannot attend school for a number of reasons (anything from being an 'illegal' migrant, to being 'stateless' --- not having a nationality, for example the hill tribe ethnicities in Thailand who are all born in Thailand yet are not legal citizens, etc --- to not having responsible parents). Some of the kids walk, some of the kids are picked up at the border in the DEPDC big metal school bus, and some are at risk in their homes and so live at the centre. At the HDS the kids are taught Thai (Many kids speak Burmese or hill tribe dialects), English (by me!), science, and math. There are six grades, and each grade gets two English lessons/week. In the afternoons they sometimes have different activities or workshops like cooking, agriculture, and broom-making.

So! In addition to writing grant proposals for the 'foreign committee' (aka the only people able to speak and write comprehensible English- Sarah from America, Jamie from England, and myself) this week, I feel like I have not merely survived, but thrived off my first week being here. Haha, yes. Last week we had a last minute grant proposal due and had to stay at the centre from before nine until after midnight some days... and then on Saturday we had representatives come to see the organization and we put together a presentation for them. I feel like I have been thrown in over my head and am struggling to keep myself from going under... but with everything I learn it gets easier and easier, I guess? This week I am starting my evening classes as well. Every weekday evening I'll teach at the Community Learning Centre (CLC) from six until 8; I think my students are mostly monks? But anyone is welcome, some HDS kids, some parents, etc.

A couple days ago (saam wan tii leeeow-- hmm I think I may be thinking in some Thai now... this is a good sign!) I saw a sign with a cross on it and followed it to see if I could find a Church. I found this warehouse-looking group of buildings and asked if they had Church on Sunday; after about 10 minutes of Thai-glish I learned that yes, there is Church on Sunday, and it is at 10:15. Great :) Yesterday I took my bike to the Church again and learned that it was actually a Christian mission boarding school for kids from hill tribes that had no access to education (its quite a huge problem in Thailand; women and children from hill tribe ethnicities are usually the most vulnerable to be exploited because there are so many factors working against them). I sat with a girl who greeted me and we sang contemporary songs that I didn't recognize; we then took out hymnals that were in Thai but had English titles! I hummed along to 'Come Thou Font of Every Blessing' and 'To God Be the Glory' and sung the English words I remembered. Oh, but then all the kids got up to sing at the front... in complete choir formation, multiple harmonies and different parts, these kids sounded like angels... I had tears running down my cheeks as I listened. I want to video or tape them so you can hear. Ach, amazing. Some girls showed me where they lived and slept, I ate lunch with the school teachers, and spent the afternoon talking and showing some of the girls how to knit under some trees in the yard. Hm. It was a good day. I promised I would come back next Sunday :). God is really, really good. Thank-you for praying :).

I am also really enjoying living with Sarah! Haha, I think I am so adaptable ;). I feel at home here already... Last night Sarah and I went to the Sunday market and to the Tesco Lotus for groceries, and then biked to our milk man's stall to get sweetened hot milk.. yum :). I also found a fresh market last week that has these... molasses/raw sugar rice pita things that I have fallen in love with. A little old lady cooks on a grill over a flower pot filled with coals. I have woken up an hour early a couple morning last week just to have one for breakfast :). I like having a milk man, a mollasses-pita lady, and the lady who also seems to buy molasses-pitas at the same time as me. I like seeing people I know from the Centre (and now from Church!) at the market and in town. I like being familiar to the couple who makes sushi at the market, and the woman who comes to clean our house. I like feeling at home :). Maybe it is my unconscious goal to be a 'local' everywhere I go... To sink myself into a community and a culture, yet live and learn with all the experience I've had in my previous and continuous communities and cultures.

One thing I love about the East Coast is how relaxed it is. No one seems to be in a hurry, and people always go out of their way to help you... I go to school there now, but when my family and I went to Nova Scotia a couple years ago, we decided we would be 'Nova Scotian' from then on. We loved the peaceful and un-rushed culture that it seemed to be. Take that... and multiply it by ten, and you will have a sense of the un-rushed culture that I live in right now. I was walking to an English lesson the other day and told Sarah, 'oh! I always feel like I'm rushing when I'm walking with anyone else!', Sarah, who has lived here for four months already, replied nonchalantly, 'That's because you are rushing.' *sigh. It's not about being productive, it's about building relationships. I hope I will learn this lesson well enough here to have it become a permanent part of me... or maybe learn to not rush/needlessly busy myself and still be productive (mm.. yes this would be good). Maybe we feel like we have to justify our existence by always having somewhere to be, somewhere we just came from, and so many things we have to do at one time. Hmm. I think I still have a long way to go ;).

Okay friends, next time I let it go for so long I'll make sure to put up little notes just to say I'm okay... I got a couple notes wondering if I had dropped off the planet or something, haha. Thanks for your care! It means so much to me to be loved!

Blessings friends,
Nicola

I have a shiny blue bicycle with a basket :)

Hi everybody!

So, I am now moved in to a little house in Mae Sai. I'm currently living with an American named Sarah, but I think maybe after a couple weeks or a month we'll talk and see if it's working or not, etc. Right now I am loving having a fridge, a hot water heater for the shower (luxurious!), and my own room. I feel so spoiled :). It is in a little compound of three houses, owned by the landlady that lives in the front little house. Our house has two bedrooms, a little living room, a little kitchen, and a little bathroom. It's very little. But I like it. The sun streams through my bedroom window in the morning, along with noisy roosters (note: in Thai they don't have a word for a male chicken. They just call it chicken. I think if I couldn't sleep every morning because of male chickens, I would definitely name the dang thing... anyway),and Thai music. And. DEPDC lent me my very own bicycle to ride around town! It has one gear, big handle bars, and a big basket on the front--- oh! And a second seat on the back for a passenger! So if you come to visit... I've got transportation, hehe. It is my pride and joy... seriously ;). I arrived on Friday, had an all-day meeting on Saturday, a birthday party for a volunteer on Saturday night, I taught my first english lesson last night, and today I am writing for the 'foreign department' in the office. Classes start today officially, but I will start teaching tomorrow. I'm so excited!!

I also wrote because I wanted to share a newspaper article on the conflicts/potential conflicts in Myanmar. If the conflict between the Wa tribe and the Military (and anyone else who cares to join) go ahead (which undoubtedly will happen), there will be a lot of repercussions. It borders on sensationalizing, and it seems to worry more about what will happen to the availability of drugs more than anything-- but it's a great article to get an overview of what's happening on my side of the world right now.
You can find it at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/06/world/asia/06myanmar.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

Alright! Hope you're all well. Thinking about you,
Nicola

hurrah!

Hi there!

I've just come back from a shopping expedition elated! It was a daunting task... I wanted to find a gift for my Thai mom that would communicate how grateful I am. I wandered inside this little teak furniture shop with a budget... and I found a lovely teak and bamboo mirror for her bedroom, and I still had about 300 baht I could spend. Ah! Just as I was leaving I found an elephant holding a snowflake dish on it's trunk! K... it sounds dorky, but I was like, YES! I only bartered down 100baht... I am so picky with presents, but this one I feel SO happy with and I was so intimidated to try and put my gratitude in an object :S. *sigh. But... how perfect! Canada and Thailand in one gift! :).

Mmmm... I just had to share my happiness :).

Loy Kratung

I need to write more often...

Yesterday morning I woke up in a pool house to a crowd chanting early in the morning about floating their cares away...

Last week I finished my TEFL course in Chiang Mai, spent the weekend with friends I planted trees with in Ontario whom are making their way through SE Asia, and took the bus up to Mae Sie, a border town to Myanmar. I was picked up by a staff member from DEPDC (Development Education Program for Daughter’s and Communities). The NGO centred in Mae Sie works to prevent human trafficking, and has invited me, as a new and completely inexperienced English-teaching volunteer, on a five-day planning retreat. I was only at the centre for twenty minutes before we packed laptops, printers, spreadsheets and luggage into the truck and headed for Chiang Khong; a town bordering Laos to the East.

About a month before I flew here, I had a dream about the DEPDC centre. I hadn’t seen a picture of it, yet as I walked through the grounds and in the main building, what I saw was almost the spitting image of my dream two months ago. I dreamt of the wooden railings around the meeting area, the rounded arches and the white-washed stairs. I even dreamt of the material draped across the hall’s view of the third floor. Coupled with Sompop Jantraka’s comment about knowing intuitively that I was on the centre grounds and that he had known we were going to pop through the door any moment, the visit left me feeling quite unsure of what I had gotten myself into.

The planning retreat was great; I was completely in over my head, drinking in every story and every bit of information that I possibly could, and loving it. I helped finish a grant proposal to a charity provider in Switzerland, and am now working on the English ‘Master Proposal’ with the three other foreign volunteers. Needless to say, I am learning a lot. I also saw my friends from Canada again! Completely random, I had no idea they were in Chiang Khong, and we bumped into each other at a little Thai restaurant near Laos. I wonder how often chance meetings in Thailand happen? At the end of the retreat Khun Sompop (Thai for ‘Honourable/I respect you Sompop’... or something to that extent) invited me to stay at his house on Sunday night to meet his family. He had told me about his swimming pool he had built himself beside his house, and thought I might like to see it. This man had built an Olympic sized swimming pool for his kids and the team they coach: fourth place in Thailand (or Northern Thailand? I forget.), the team is entirely comprised of youth rehabilitating from trafficking situations who live at the DEPDC home in Mae Chan, where he lives. Khun Sompop had found that aqua-therapy had incredible results, but constantly transporting all the kids to swimming pools was so hectic, so he decided to learn how to build one in his back yard to save money. I slept in the guest house overlooking the pool. I can’t wait to show you pictures. His daughter showed me around her University on Monday morning and Khun Sompop brought me to the bus station in Chiang Rai so I could be with my Thai family for the festival, Loy Kratung.

Loy Kratung is a new-moon festival... ‘Loy’ means to float and ‘Kratung’ means a vessel of troubles/cares/worries/bad luck, etc. On the first week of November on the full moon you can float away your troubles in to the air with a floating lantern or down the river in a small bamboo craft decorated with folded banana leaves, flowers, incense sticks and candles – a gift to the river goddess. The sky is filled with large floating lanterns, and constant fireworks.

“Loy Loy Krathong, Loy Loy Krathong, Loy Krathong Gan Laew Koh Shern Nong Kaew Ook Ma Ram Wong...” is part of the chanting song, meaning, ‘Loy Kratung is here, everyone is happy, come and dance with me...” (or something like that).

So. I am encouraged. When Khun Sompop brought me to the bus station he treated me to some lunch; “while I am eating Khun Sompop, you can tell me another story!” while eating Kao Gai (rice and chicken) he recounted tales of government frustration with his NGO, and the difficulty in fulfilling their mission while at the same time trying to fit into all the standardized boxes charity funders and the government are trying to squeeze them into. Khun Sompop is... determined, welcoming, straightforward, and passionate about human rights, explaining charts and budgets in one moment, and fishing with tofu on a bamboo pole with me in the next moment. When I got on the bus, he grasped my hands, saying, ‘Nicci!’ (in Thailand I am ‘Nicci’, for ease of pronunciation), ‘I have a hundred more stories to tell you!’. Ah! I have a hundred ears to listen.

Mae Sai is surrounded by the highest mountains I have seen yet in Thailand. I rode on the luggage in the covered back of the truck on the 3 hour ride back from Chiang Khong and I couldn’t take my eyes off the scenery... it is so beautiful.

Mmm... please pray that I can find a Christian Community in Mae Sai. Though I felt somewhat that I should stay in Chiang Mai when I first arrived, I feel at peace about going to Mae Sai. Maybe at peace? More like... this is what I need to do right now. This is where I will learn the most. Hopefully. But... it’s not healthy to completely rely on my cyber community for prayer support and for Christian Community. I think there might be churches there, but none English. Hm. Church is important to me.

As I open my prayer book, this next month focuses on Solitude. The author writes, “Bonhoeffer and Vanier (two authors on intentional Christian Community) see solitude as something that works best when it is contrasted by intentional community because without togetherness, our solitude quickly becomes loneliness issuing into despair.” When asking of God, he always gives something we could never have imagined for ourselves. When we ask and surrender the outcome to God, it’s like saying, ‘Lord... please breathe your presence into this, and I’ll look forward to seeing the unique God-twist you put on the outcome’. Because... maybe he can see behind the plea and answer a deeper need, or just grasp the opportunity of your vulnerability to emphasize how much he loves you. So, we both must keep our eyes open to the ways that God blesses us, surprises us, and takes care of us... because he does and he will. Chai mai? (it’s true, yes?)

Blessings. You encourage me so much, in your being, in your intentional living, and in your faith. Thanks friends. :)
n.