thoughts on being 'there'.

Thankyou for being an avenue where I can toss out my thoughts.
Perhaps I haven't thought about this enough. Agh, it never fails to prompt an ever-ready flow of tears though. Bah.

Today after I taught in the morning we hosted a group of 'global college' university students from the States. There were about twenty of them and Jamie (an other volunteer), myself, and Sompop (mostly Jamie and Sompop) presented on DEPDC and the people that we exist to serve. That man is so unsensationalizing and true to the facts... yet stuns me every time with just the facts, without trying to get donations through pulling at your heart strings, just... with the facts. Today he spoke about one of the first girls he met 20 years ago that prompted him to build DEPDC. He was hired to research the origins of girls in the sex industry in Thailand. His research took him all over the hill tribes and border towns of Northern Thailand. In the villages he met many girls who had siblings in the sex trade and other exploitative work. They were asking Kun Sompop why he was researching and if he was a teacher. They said they wanted to go to school... one girl was scheduled to go to Pattaya, like her older sister. The girl said she did not want to go to Pattaya, because her older sister told her she would have to sleep with foreigners, and sometimes they are very fat and they hurt her a lot. Kun Sompop continued to say he gave the money he had to buy her text books... and that is how a 3 month temporary research project turned into 20 years of DEPDC I guess :S.

I have started loving these kids. It really is the reality of my essays that I wrote last year. I live in the reality... And I have to stop believing that people are just safe because I love them... because I recognize them and I know their names. I was talking with Tone, one of my students from Myanmar, about his family. I showed him by drawing on the board the people in my family and all my siblings: Simon and Jen and their kids, Naomi and Josh (Naomi's stick figure had a big belly!), and Jonna and Alison. I even drew our dog, Pippa. I'm so proud of my big family and love them SO much... haha, naively, I was excited to have a captive audience to listen to everyone's names and ages. I asked Tone if he had a brother. Yes. I asked if he had a sister. Yes. I asked him what their names are. He sat there, stunned for a bit. I asked again, slower and in a different way. He said he does not know. They both went to Bangkok and he does not even remember their names. I erased my crowd of white-out marker Canadian stick figures. Hm. Frustrated at myself and my obvious cultural ignorance, I drew Tone and his Mom, and his friends from school and our class instead.

Also. Brad and I were riding past some fields and I was looking out at the workers, thinking what good pictures I could take. And then I thought, if I put those pictures up people would tell me, 'wow! That's so cool! I can't believe you're actually there!'. So... my thought is... how did I get to be the person riding past on a motorcycle getting props for being 'there', and not the person working in the fields for a pittance, the person who makes it 'cool' and 'there'... yet goes home to a hovel every night... if they even have a hovel?

Mmm. yep. Just wanted to spill some thoughts...

oo! on a side note... this made me laugh... during his presentation to the University students Kun Sompop (in his very broken English) said a couple months volunteering is 'same same' with four years of University :S. He said a few months volunteering makes you realize why you are even at University. I think... that... speaking from someone that is very irresponsibly taking a break from her education, I would agree. I wish I was more educated for this job so I could give more, but I'm not sure I would have had the drive and focus and knowledge of how to be educated if I hadn't come, you know? That was one of my goals: to learn how I can be educated in order to be best used in this field. I'm excited to go back to school. I'm also very impressed with anyone reading this who has had the determination to be in school for four years straight... I will graduate... someday... I promise! Props to you ;).

Cheers friends...
. When ever I write a blog, I wonder, 'does this get read?'
. and I think... that even if it doesn't... I still like getting my thoughts out.
And Mom... I know you read my blogs ;) hehe.