Honestly, tree-planting 2013 was... debilitating. Somehow, I still feel traumatized and anxious from the whole experience. Perhaps it was the last few days that scarred me so - I can't shake the memory of my bug-ridden corpse-like self fighting through the tall overgrowth and glue-like mud, trying desperately to plant out the last of the contract's trees while stepping in wasps nests and trying to see through my sweat and rain-clogged bug net. That's how I remember it. I'd like to say that 'planting was good!', when people ask. But, instead, this strange cynical atmosphere overcomes me, my language takes a nose-dive, and I struggle not to succumb to the hellish memories.

Some good things:

My best-day face : )

1. My third last day, I planted the most I ever have in one day: 5,300. They weren't even tiny pods or light trees or anything, I just decided that I would plant over 5, and I did. That was a good day. I would have probably returned next year if it wasn't for the two last days that followed.

2. Clifford. I adore that big red bus. I began writing poetry on the roof with sharpies, and others started following suit: Clifford, the big red poetry bus : ). Here is a picture of the planting prose that got 'posted' to the roof. I think it's just what happens when 24/7 prayer meets tree-planting, hey?

3. Worship songs have taken on new meaning than ever before: lines about soaring like eagles, and singing the songs that God has put into our hearts- these things I experienced first hand. I know how massive an eagle is. I have been to depths of rock bottom, and songs were put on my heart and lips that raised me up out of the muck and mire to continue breathing. Sometimes, I even miss the closeness.

Burning my planting clothes :)

I drove back to Southern Ontario with Michelle; we spent the time between passing out from beyond-exhaustion, and discussing the finished contract. Usually immediately after it's over, I come into a fairy-like ecstasy, feather-light from realizing that the contract is over and I don't have to plant any more trees!!! This year, I haven't experienced that. It's like the very experience scarred me to my bones, and I couldn't be happy simply because that existed, and I was there. Crazy, hey?

I'm back in Hamilton, and life is a dream. I love working at New Hope Community Bikes as a bicycle mechanic; I love drinking up the late summer in ice teas and long cycle rides. My bi-monthly paycheck from the not-for-profit is less than just the tax taken off any of my bi-monthly paychecks from tree-planting, but I smile coming to work every day, and treasure the relationships I have with the volunteers and local community. I hope that my hard exterior formed during May and June is slowly chipping off, and I'll come out the other side a stronger yet gentler person ;).

Currently, I find immense joy in sitting on picnic blankets, in eating good food with friends, in succeeding to refurbish an old broken bike, in participating in a few summer cycling and multi-sport races, and in reading my bedside-table favourite, Les Mis.