my own shrinking heart

At the end of August I was able to visit my sister and her family in Saint John, NB. Within six months of moving my life back to Ontario, Naomi & Co. moved out East, an hour from where I used to live! It was a pleasure to be able to visit the lovely folks surrounding St. Stephen's University, as well as spending a few days with my sisters Jonna and Naomi, and Naomi's three sons.


 I'm not going to pretend that I was very good at helping with Oliver, Charlie, and Thomas. Honestly, I got pretty tired quickly, as I'm not practiced in the stamina of playing toddlers. I'm familiar with more time alone, in reading and in reflection, in cycling through the city and sipping tea in hidden corners of cafes. However, on one evening when the kids were safely in bed, Naomi came downstairs with a strange request,


"Uh... Nicci, Oliver wants you to come up and scratch his back." I opened his door slowly and sat on his bed, lightly 'scratching' his tiny back with my fingertips, singing to him. I wondered if that's how Jesus feels when we come to him with our requests, boldly like a child. My heart was full as I understood the love of Jesus a little more, through my own bumbling efforts to love my nephews... if I so eagerly went to the bedside of a little boy, not even mine, how much more does he run to us? 




Similarly, after we spent our time at St. Martin's Beach building a dam with Oliver and Charlie, Charlie (2 years old) ended up sopping wet and freezing cold. I stripped him of his wet clothes and wrapped him up in my jacket, holding him in my arms, carrying him down the beach and all the way to the van. He snuggled up against me and closed his eyes, and though my arms hurt as his little body relaxed completely, I wouldn't have passed him off for the world. Dang, these little guys. Thanks for teaching me about the greater love of our God, through my own shrinking heart learning to love : ).