white skirts and leggings

I just had a great grade one class... I’m starting a new section called ‘We Take Care’. Right now we’re studying how to take care of our bodies. Today we stretched and talked about different kinds of exercising. I’m hoping to talk about brushing teeth and choosing to eat healthy food as well before I go on to taking care of our environment and our families, etc. If you have any other ideas I’d love to hear them! My Grade one class is quite difficult because there are 30 of them, and they are all at totally different levels. I’ve been asking the older ones to help me by taking attendance or writing the Thai translation on the board and it’s working out okay.

I’m pretty discouraged right now. I’m struggling and fighting and wondering about meaning and what gives meaning. I had been pretty excited this week about possibly having a Half-Day-School Christmas play for all the parents to come to. I’d worked it out with what each grade would do, etc, and then talked to another volunteer about it. ‘Christianity would be a whole lot better if they would just be content with not telling everyone about it’. ‘That would be very inappropriate; this is an inappropriate venue to share your beliefs, Nicola’. *sigh. That sucks. We also discussed why both of us came and such. I said I came to give what I could, and to love. ‘Who said they need or want your love?’. The dialogue left me struggling and questioning the place of faith in development, how to ‘do it right’ if everyone has been so hurt by it. Christianity is such an easy target... but it’s just so sad because there’s this whole stereotype that Christians think they’re perfect, which is a complete contradiction of the idea of Christianity, isn’t it? Man... we’re all just hurting and trying to figure out how to live.

I’m hurting, and trying to figure out how to live.

- white skirts make me feel beautiful
- giving feels better than getting
- I have to learn how to ‘get’
- taking care of people/things/animals gives me joy
- grass feels better than concrete
- basil tomato brie sandwiches are good any day of the week
- music. art. enough said.
- everybody needs to be loved
- leggings were a great invention

Being is a difficult business.

So- I have a confession to make. The book I named my blog after- I have not actually read. Fully. I picked it up at Lawsons a couple days before I left and read a chapter or two but needed all the money I had, and didn’t buy it. But- the few pages I read affected me enough to name my blog after it. And the ideas I read have kept me thinking for a couple months about them. However, my friend just sent me the book and I am devouring it! Don Miller, you never cease to amaze. The book is all about story, and what makes a good one. The people he meets in his journey and the decisions he makes are so... real.

“The next day,” he said, “Annie came to me while I was doing the dishes.” He collected his words. “Things have been tense for the last year, Don. I haven’t told you everything. But my wife came to me and put her arms around me and leaned her face into the back of my neck and told me she was proud of me.”
Pg.53

It’s a good book. This quote is completely random and has no connection really with the main plot of the book... but is lovely anyway :). I love redemption.

So. Meaning. I woke up this morning feeling devoid of it. Most of what I find meaning in isn’t reciprocated here. Maybe I’m finally going through culture shock? I decided to incorporate a white skirt and leggings into my outfit today.

I’ve heard Christianity described as a crutch a couple times recently/not so recently. Is it a crutch? Is it supposed to be a crutch? What do you think?