Sunday, December 27, 2009

I like turning strangers into friends :)

Hi! I thought I'de post this on my blog... it makes me feel special :). I met a guy named Anthony at the bus station on Christmas Day (I was booking my ticket for the bus to Chiang Mai on boxing day); a passionate journalist, he had just spent Christmas with an Akha hill tribe and was now heading back to Chiang Mai to continue working with rescued elephants. You can read his article about the redemption of elephants in Thailand here: http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=103289. I thought he was crazy at first, and then when he left he said, 'God bless!', and then I thought, 'oh, that makes sense' :). I met him again on my first night in Chiang Mai, crossing the street with my friend Courtney who would leave the next day for Vietnam (she was also living with my host family, with a travel program from her school in Minesota). Probably forty years old, he shouted 'Nicola!' and ran across the street to give me a hug (Thailand is like that for some reason... I'm always meeting people randomly that I've ran into before). Wow. He's crazy. But he believes God loves him, and I think that craziness is a little bit allowed when you accept the depth of God's love for you. He included me in his Christmas update:

I also met another volunteer, Nicola from Canada (also blonde and very pretty with sky blue eyes, so odd I can't describe them) and she can speak Thai, and has been volunteering with many kinds of the different hill tribes. She really seems to have a heart for the Lord ... there are so many good people in the world. They don't have to spend Christmas with the hill tribes but they do. She just acted like it was the most normal thing ... she was travelling alone at the bus station in Chiang Rai without a care in the world. Confident. Filled with purpose ...
... I guess they feel the Lord has led them to do what they are doing.


Wow. I just love meeting such interesting people. Thailand is great for that too :).

I listened to a sermon that a friend showed me on the depth of God's love. There are so many sermons on that... but I really like this one. If you have the time, give it a listen ;). It's from 'Church in the Box' at Redeemer University in Hamilton.
http://media.redeemer.ca/users/podcasts/weblog/c044b/12_13_09_-_CITB_-_Paul_Vanderbrink.html

Saturday, December 26, 2009

kaw hi me quamsuk wan Christmas...

Ashoka Globalizer. A new class. My new Burmese friends. The great people God blesses me with on bus rides.

Firstly! The Merriest Christmas to all of you... here is 'we wish you a Merry Christmas' in Thai:

kaw hi me quamsuk wan Christmas,
kaw hi me quamsuk wan Christmas,
kaw hi me quamsuk wan Christmas,
lee saw wat di bii mai! :)

Kun Sompop called me over the other day and started reading an e-mail he had received from a charity organization called 'Ashoka' about their latest grant opportunity called 'Ashoka Globalizers'. Sarah, Jamie, (the two other vols) and I had worked on the proposal together, and it was our first one that we recieved news about. Ashoka is an organization that extends invitations to NGO founders to be an 'Ashoka fellow' with them, to share information and to network and such. There are about 2000 Ashoka fellows each year I think? For 'globalizers', they would pick 25 NGO's out of 2000 to be 'ready to gloabalize'- to go further than their country and immediate region. DEPDC's future vision includes the expansion of our 'Mekong Youth Union' of projects started by DEPDC trained youth leaders to the 'Asian Youth Union'. So, we had to prove to Ashoka that we're ready for this step and that they should believe in our work and support it. In the e-mail Kun Sompop read me, he had been invited to the Ashoka conference in Vienna in April as the representative of DEPDC, one of the 25 NGOs that Ashoka chose that are ready to go global!!! Hurray!! :) I really feel like I got to contribute; even if it was only for my English writing skills... which I guess are important in grant writing! ;)

The other night at CLC (Community Learning Centre- where I teach the monks every Mon, Wed, and Fri night from 6-8), one of my monks told me he had told some of his friends that I don't teach on Tuesday and Thursday. So, a group of seven monks walked by the classroom window (the classrooms are pretty much all windows.. its more like.. just absence of wall..) and asked me if I can start a new class and teach them twice a week, I was like, 'sure'... because, well, that's why I'm here, so I invited them in and had them write down their names and ages, and told them they were free to invite anyone else at a beginner level as well. So, the next day I walked into a class of 14 new students that are absolute basic beginners! Though I now work every week day until 8... teaching monks is just so entertaining that I don't mind at all :)

The night before Christmas Eve, I was riding down the big hill after CLC to meet Jamie for dinner. I heard a loud, 'hallelujah!' and clapping from one of the houses; I slammed on the breaks on my bike, and waited for the carolers ( I assumed?) to come out. Jamie called me wondering where I was.. 'Jamie.. I think you're on your own tonight... sorry!'. I asked the group if I could join them and if they could bring me back to my bike afterwards. They happily accepted me into their group; a Burmese community Church called 'Grace International'. No one spoke Thai, only Burmese and English. Oh... I can't even explain to you... it was so lovely. We were riding around in the back of pickup trucks, stopping from place to place- Burmese singing, talking, laughing- oh! It's like.. even when they're not singing, it sounds like singing. Burmese is the most beautiful language I have ever heard. It's like a combination of the best parts of french and spanish... *sigh. Anyway, a couple of my students were caroling as well and I spent a lovely evening trekking around the mountainy parts of Mae Sai holding a little girl's hand and clapping along with foreign yet stunningly joyful and beautiful Christmas carols. We traded cell numbers and they invited me out to their Christmas Eve service the next night! A truck of students from a bible seminary near my house picked me up for the service... wow. I really like that Church. I want to remember everything, all the time I spend with these passionate, thankful people. I didn't bring my camera to the service because I wanted to experience it with just my eyes, not looking through anyone elses. They are some of the most persecuted people in the world- just for being of minority ethnicities and standing up for their people and their country, yet... they're some of the happiest people I think I have ever met. Truly. Hm. I also learned more about my students from the pastor there. Every Tuesday afternoon I teach the kindergarten class (or whoever just doesn't know Thai yet): among these are 4 girls wearing matching heavy blue jackets. They go to Grace Chruch; the Pastor told me that they are Wa, the people group currently heavily targeted by the Burmese Military, between the military-controlled part and Southern China. These girls escaped to Thailand and found themselves in Mae Sai without parents; the pastor took them into the children's home attached to the Church. Hm. This is why they don't answer me when I speak Thai to them. Last Tuesday we drew around our hands, wrote our names in Thai, coloured our hands in, and then did the same on a BIG sheet of paper to put up in the classroom. Those girls gave me their hand-pictures so I can put them up at home! :) On Christmas day my new friends called me again and invited me out to the city-wide gathering of Christians in a parking lot of one of the municipal buildings. Even though I had had a very wearing day at the centre of unexpected disappointments and responsibilites, it was nice to sit with friends and enjoy the community around me. They don't know Thai because they learn the bible in English, so I was actually translating (as much as I could!) the sermon for them into English, and teaching them a couple of Thai words. I hope I get to hang out with them more often- more maybe as a collective group of girls and guys... one of the guys told me he's been praying for an English girlfriend ... :S

This morning I saw the sunrise for the first time, as I caught the earliest first class bus (= a toilet on the bus) out of Mae Sai so I could see my friend Courtney (who also lives with my family in Chiang Mai) again before she flies off to Vietnam on the 27th. There was only one seat taken on the bus, and the hostess led me to the seat right beside her; I was tired and wanted to have my own seat, but she insisted that we sit together. We talked in Thai about where we are from and where we are going, where we work and such, when she started speaking to me in very good English, as the conversation started to get harded to understand (such grace!). She is Burmese and was going to visit her boyfriend in the refugee camp in Mae Sot, an other border town with Myanmar, in Western Thailand. She said she met him at Grace International Church-- we chatted and realized that we recognized each other from both the Christmas Eve service and the city-wide service as she was part of the dance group. I remember seeing her on stage both times, thinking what a strong and beautful woman she looked like, and how she just seemed to shine! She told me about the history of Christianity in Burma-- and about a white missionary family that has been living in her town for four generations! She went on to tell me that she works as a translator for YWAM groups going into Burma, and hopes to start a youth ministry for Burmese in Mae Sai; that Mae Sot has many many ministries, but Mae Sai has been almost forgotten about in comparison to Mae Sot. She talked about wanting to teach them trades and different handi-crafts so they can make money. I told her that I wanted to do the same kind of thing, maybe even have an organic bakery, to which she talked about her dream of owning a coffee shop... to which I talked about the 24/7 boiler room idea of weeks in community constant prayer... and the whole conversation was just.. ah, like God had just set everything up (including how she had missed her first bus so had to ride on the second) so we could chat. She has such a passion for her people and for God. Her name is Thalita and I think she is just wonderful... so strong. She wants to write a book about her life,Myanmar, and her experiences working with YWAM. She also sponsors people to go to Bible school in Burma who don't have enough money for tuition. I told her I'de love to visit the school, and she said she's going in January! I went to Myanmar for the first time on.. Thursday? Christmas Eve. The difference... between Thailand and Myanmar... is.. horrific. Even a border town, which makes a lot of money of off the visa-running tourists. There is a community of child beggers that live on the bridge in no-mans land before you even get to Myanmar :S. It makes me pretty thankful for Mae Sai... yet at the same time like... slapped into recognition of what's going on a couple km up the road.

Burma=Myanmar/Myanmar=Burma. I'm not really sure what to call it. Either Americans might get upset or the rest of the world will, depending on what you call it; Burmese people seem to use them both interchangeably?

Yes. So. I'm in Chiang Mai now, enjoying a couple days off until next week when I start classes again on January fourth. I want to be daring... I want to lift my hands and feet up to God... and I want him to use me. Hmm.

Oh! The books I got from my friend in Chiang Mai have already started being used! I have almost catalogued them all in my computer and I lent the first books out on Wedneday to some very eager monks. I have been bringing them to school bit my bit with as many as can fit in my bicycle basket each morning.

I also met up with a great missionary family here- Harry and Patti Britton and their family from Texas. I went with them to Chiang Rai last Sunday for English Church, and then helped them with a Christmas play at a highschool on Thursday morning. Their daughter likes mountain biking and was talking about a race in Mae Sai in January?? (yes please!) They work for Narrow Gate Asia, and are working on a farming ministry here in Mae Sai in partnership with a dairy farm that's actually right next to DEPDC.

Thankyou friends! Hope you had a lovely Christmas.
Blessings!

n

Monday, December 21, 2009

ps.

Hehe... I just remembered.

My housemate told me last night, as she was leafing through my Bible asking me what I thought of homosexuality and evangelists, that she won't let me talk to her children when she has them. She said I could write them letters, but could not talk talk to them... that I would be a bad influence because I hitch-hike, sleep in the forest for months at a time, talk to strangers and don't call my mother as much as I should :S ... oh man, I forget everything she said...hehe; but that she didn't want her kids to turn out like me! That's the best encouragement I've got in months!! ;)

ps. I promise I would call my Mom more if she had skype ;).

Sunday, December 20, 2009

My grade two's, BKK, Church, and my monks.

Last week I spent a good half of my grade 2 class just chatting with them before we started the lesson. The discussion started because I took greater attention that morning in taking attendance than usual, asking why students weren't there when I received a choral, 'my maa' (literally: not come) and 10 kids twisting their wrists around in the air like the queen's wave when I announced a student who wasn't present.

'Seeree'. 'mai maa!'. 'my maa tam mai (why didn't he come?)'. 'Seeree *khhk! (kids imitate somebody dying). 'WhAATTT!!!???' My kids went on to explain that Seeree had been hit by a motorcy and he died. But that it didn't matter because he snorted opium and he drank a lot, 'mai dee (not good)!'. 'WhhAATT!???' *sigh. I didn't remember Seeree because he hadn't come in the last couple weeks, but I would talk to someone about it later.

'Nisa!' 'Nisa mai maa'. 'mai maa tam mai'. 'Nisa bai Gruntep (Nisa went to Bangkok)'. '.... Nisa bai Gruntep tam mai'. 'tamgnan (to work)'. 'WhhaAAATT!??' So. One of my grade two's had gone to Bangkok to work in order to earn money for her parents (she hadn't been to school in the last two months). I looked at Santheep, Fon Down, and the others and begged them, 'please... don't go to Bangkok'. We talked about how dangerous it was and how there are many good Farang but their are many bad Farang too, and Thailand just seem to attract bad Farang because it is so cheap and there are many beautiful women. We talked about different things they could do to earn money here, to which they just answered... Phi Nicci. Where would be work? There is nothing in Mae Sai for us. They told me they wouldn't go to Bangkok until they finished Prateom 6 (grade 6), and then they would go to Bangkok because they had to send back money for their parents. mm.. WhhhAATT??!

I talked to Khun Somboon (the Thai teacher) about it afterwards (whose name means 'Mr. Perfect' in Thai-- my monks taught me that. What a great name! haha), and first he said that my grade two's had talked to him about what they told me about Seeree, and that he had lectured them not to lie to their teachers! WhhhhAATTT!!?? Ach, the punks. Why would you lie about somebody dying?? Khun Somboon explained that death isn't super tabboo here, and that he doesn't come to school here any more because he does actually snort opium (I think that's what you do with Opium? oh dear, I am so clueless) and is drunk all the time. *sigh. We talked about my kids going to Bangkok in four years and he said that they do everything they can to stop them, but since they are undocumented (hill tribe ethnicities are not legally Thai citizens, which means they have no benefits such as education, healthcare, they can't leave Thailand/sometimes even just their province), there is huge prejudice against them and they cannot work anywhere but at night in the karaoke and night bars here. So most just go to Bangkok, and they educate them on safe migration and their rights, etc. hmph. International Development is really complicated. Maybe this is why most IDS University programs don't have you actually go and help at an NGO... because then you would get dissappointed and disillusioned and lose hope and then want to change your major. I don't want to change my major... I'm just sayin'...

I went to English Church in Chiang Rai yesterday! hurray! I had met a lovely family who drove me there and back and then I spent a while at their house when we got back, talking to their 12-yr old daughter (who likes soccer and mountain biking!) and trying to get star fruit off their trees with their 6-yr old son. They are from Texas I think. I haven't seen white kids in so long, haha... they look so weird now. I met so many people at Church that talked my ear off and I just got to listen. :). I also heard about a drop in centre run by a man at the Church right at the border near I live called, 'Open doors'. I'de like to go and visit and see what they do.

This morning I woke up and wanted to book a flight home for two days from now. I miss Christmas and I miss my friends and my family. But then... I stopped at a food stall I've never been to before, and enjoyed a slow lunch while marking my monk's weekly journals I have them write... and I decided... that I would stay even just to read their weekly journals. oh man... my monks are the coolest, hehe. I'll try to find a good excerpt for you... true to the originals...

Moei:
'Today I walked went to the librariel. I was found and read a storied book this I was like. and I went to the market but was not bought things. beceas I was forgot brought the money...'

Dang:
'every morning. I cleaned my bedroom and tempels. miday I make the homeworked... I have 3 elder brother don't a younger sister because I am pauper no. 4 in my family. we live in a small house. I wake up at 5 o'clock. I walk to school every other day. ('Pauper'... I love the words they come up with then they look it up in a dictionary... hehehe)

Yep. love it!
Blessings all!

ps. I love you Naomi. Thanks for your comments :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

white skirts and leggings

I just had a great grade one class... I’m starting a new section called ‘We Take Care’. Right now we’re studying how to take care of our bodies. Today we stretched and talked about different kinds of exercising. I’m hoping to talk about brushing teeth and choosing to eat healthy food as well before I go on to taking care of our environment and our families, etc. If you have any other ideas I’d love to hear them! My Grade one class is quite difficult because there are 30 of them, and they are all at totally different levels. I’ve been asking the older ones to help me by taking attendance or writing the Thai translation on the board and it’s working out okay.

I’m pretty discouraged right now. I’m struggling and fighting and wondering about meaning and what gives meaning. I had been pretty excited this week about possibly having a Half-Day-School Christmas play for all the parents to come to. I’d worked it out with what each grade would do, etc, and then talked to another volunteer about it. ‘Christianity would be a whole lot better if they would just be content with not telling everyone about it’. ‘That would be very inappropriate; this is an inappropriate venue to share your beliefs, Nicola’. *sigh. That sucks. We also discussed why both of us came and such. I said I came to give what I could, and to love. ‘Who said they need or want your love?’. The dialogue left me struggling and questioning the place of faith in development, how to ‘do it right’ if everyone has been so hurt by it. Christianity is such an easy target... but it’s just so sad because there’s this whole stereotype that Christians think they’re perfect, which is a complete contradiction of the idea of Christianity, isn’t it? Man... we’re all just hurting and trying to figure out how to live.

I’m hurting, and trying to figure out how to live.

- white skirts make me feel beautiful
- giving feels better than getting
- I have to learn how to ‘get’
- taking care of people/things/animals gives me joy
- grass feels better than concrete
- basil tomato brie sandwiches are good any day of the week
- music. art. enough said.
- everybody needs to be loved
- leggings were a great invention

Being is a difficult business.

So- I have a confession to make. The book I named my blog after- I have not actually read. Fully. I picked it up at Lawsons a couple days before I left and read a chapter or two but needed all the money I had, and didn’t buy it. But- the few pages I read affected me enough to name my blog after it. And the ideas I read have kept me thinking for a couple months about them. However, my friend just sent me the book and I am devouring it! Don Miller, you never cease to amaze. The book is all about story, and what makes a good one. The people he meets in his journey and the decisions he makes are so... real.

“The next day,” he said, “Annie came to me while I was doing the dishes.” He collected his words. “Things have been tense for the last year, Don. I haven’t told you everything. But my wife came to me and put her arms around me and leaned her face into the back of my neck and told me she was proud of me.”
Pg.53

It’s a good book. This quote is completely random and has no connection really with the main plot of the book... but is lovely anyway :). I love redemption.

So. Meaning. I woke up this morning feeling devoid of it. Most of what I find meaning in isn’t reciprocated here. Maybe I’m finally going through culture shock? I decided to incorporate a white skirt and leggings into my outfit today.

I’ve heard Christianity described as a crutch a couple times recently/not so recently. Is it a crutch? Is it supposed to be a crutch? What do you think?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

nom sot (fresh milk)

Mmm... tonight was lovely. The last two days I have hardly eaten anything as I've been feeling pretty sick, but was finally able to eat a meal tonight. I spent the evening chatting with Sarah at our favourite food stall (Newee makes phenom fried rice as well as Phatsee-ew (fried big noodles)), and then bought some milk and drank it slowly with the people at the jok and the milk. Oh... I'm starting to get really attached to that little community of stalls... I went to order with my friend Soe (fresh milk-nom sot / soy milk-nom tahoot), and he was like, 'you haven't come for a week, where did you go?' Being over-emotional me, I almost started crying, haha. Doesn't it feel wonderful to be remembered and thought about? I'm glad I'm human. So we sat and tried to communicate... Payho, the elderly lady who I just met tonight, showed me photos of her family, and I learned that Soe, Naun, and an other vender are all from Myanmar and actually only know a little Thai (/way more than I know). Oh, I wish I could communicate. It's so frustrating when you want to hear all about someone's life and you just can't. Mae Sai is like that... for most of the people Thai is their second language. But, I had a lovely evening :). I had this crazy idea of offering free english classes to them after they've closed their stalls at around 11pm... maybe I'll wait till I get to know them better. I just really like them all a lot though, I'de like to be familiar and remembered by that group... they all seem like a close family.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Compassion

From an article entitled ‘At one with our ignorance’ written by Karen Armstrong in the Guardian Wednesday 11.11.09

Compassion does not mean pity; it means to ‘experience with’ the other. The golden rule, of always treating all others as you would wish to be treated yourself, lies at the heart of all morality. It requires a principled, ethical and imaginative effort to put self-interest to one side and stand in somebody else’s shoes.

The golden rule does not advocate naïve bonhomie but impels us to examine our presuppositions, change our minds if necessary, and submit our assessment of a dilemma to stringent criticism. One cannot act for the true benefit of the greatest number of people if not fully apprised of the intricacy of a particular situation; this calls for an intellectual effort, an impartial investigation of the history of a problem, and an honest attempt to look into an opposing viewpoint- instead of simply relying on discussion that happens to chime with our opinions.

Compassion demands that we dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world. It has been central to the religious quest as well as to the Socratic tradition of philosophical rationalism. We have failed to live up to this ideal. Altruism may have been an important survival mechanism for our ancestors at a particular stage of their evolution; it may also be key to our survival to-day.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

'hey Farang!'

Yesterday I went to the lake near here for the first time... it took me ages to find it, but when I got there on my little blue bicycle, it was so worth it... the little lake was crystal clear and embedded in the side of the mountain with streams and little ponds and paths and bridges surrounding it. There was a man renting inner tubes to float on, and if you walked up some stairs chiseled in to the hillside you could get to this little straw house village which sold some food. I was walking around and a group of youth sitting on a straw mat hollered, 'hey! Farang!', ('Farang' can be merely a descriptive term, a name if yours is too hard to pronounce, or a really derogatory term) I looked and they beckoned me over to sit with them. I spent the afternoon teaching them how to slackline (walk a thin rope between two trees, I had brought mine with me), eating with them, and swimming- we even did a bit of cliff jumping! I was so brave. It's so nice to meet people when you're by yourself :). I can't wait to load pictures! My picture sharing keeps being hampered- first because I forgot the cd at home, and now because somehow I've misplaced the cord :S. I can't wait to share my life with you, though! :)

Friday, December 4, 2009

thoughts from here

Hi friends!

Okay. Almost two weeks have come and gone faster than I could have imagined. I am going to start this e-mail with a scripture that my sister Jonna sent me on a card:

"I the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you a covenant for the people and a light for the gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness..." Isaiah 42:6-7

My heart feels broken today; it might have been that I had a bad dream last night, that birthdays make you rethink your life and if you are where you 'should' be at the age you are turning, or that I am missing fellowship. Or probably lots of other things too.

Last weekend I went down to Chiang Mai (about a 4 hours bus ride) to meet with a friend I had written about previously and that I had met in my TEFL course. He's the one who married a Burmese woman and does relief work in Myanmar. He said he has English books that I could have for free, so I spent Monday morning looking through his stacks of old children's books and readers sent from Australia. He has a new born baby and I was ecstatic to hold little Ewing and and bounce him, kind of almost pretending he was my sister's first child, born on Saturday. *sigh. So, I came back from Chiang Mai with a big box of easy readers and posters for my classrooms! He and his wife also prayed with me before I got on the bus back to Mae Sai. Today I started cataloging the books; I've decided that it will be a better use of myself to set future teachers up for success by building up usable resources and and creating syllabi then to put all my efforts into creating perfect English speakers in 5 months. I'm excited about this; I think I can do it. I want to create a comprehensive report for the next English teachers, so they won't have so little to work with, as I have.

Life has been really busy here with DEPDC's upcoming 20-year aniversary on Dec. 11. My classes have been canceled recently so the kids can make decorations for the centre and cards and paper flowers and stuff. Today I was helping my student KamTheep with her paper flowers by glueing little stem-dots to them all. It's neat to see all the little handicrafts that my kids are capable of! So many of their crafts could be easily bought at a dollar store in Canada, but seeing each piece be made and put together makes them all so precious and beautiful. Things like tiny looped wires twisted together wrapped in coloured panty hose material bound by thread put together to make beautiful ornamental flowers, and long lupin-looking flowers made from using knitting needles to make a chord of loops with yarn tied to the spine of a palm branch. Pretty cool, I was impressed.

One of my favourite parts of the week are my Monday, Wednesday, and Friday classes with my four 17-22 year old monks from Myanmar: Arnone, Moei, Dang, and La. Arnone is quiet and pensive. Moei is the furthest ahead and always goes out of his way to learn more and to show me what he knows; he's also really good at helping the others. He picks up on English intonations really well, he always says a yes/no question, thinks, and then says it again but raises the last syllable. It makes me so proud every time! Dang is quiet and funny, and texts a lot on his cell phone under the table. Whenever we read books he gets really into as he is pretty good at sounding out words, he read loudly and guesses at words more than the others. La sits on the far right of the table. He wears glasses and reminds me of a 8 year old camper I had once named Ian. Whenever he thinks he scrunches his whole face up and it makes me laugh every time... once I asked him if he understood and he shook his yes, and then slower and slower until it turned into a, 'mm no, no I don't actually have any clue what you're talking about' head shake back and forth. Oh, those kids crack me up. Each class we review the last class' work, learn something new, play a game, read a book, copy down a verse of song lyrics and fill in the blanks, and then talk about the best and worst parts of our day. Today Dang said that the best part of his day was coming to English class because it makes him happy! They're getting braver and braver about trying out English words and speaking up... sometimes my heart feel like bursting, I am so proud!

So; I had a really great Birthday... Thankyou sooo much to everyone who sent me a birthday message! That was so lovely :). I got to talk to my sister and see her gorgeous new baby, Oliver, on skype, and then my housemate Sarah made me breakfast! I got to school to find that my classes were canceled and so spent the morning learning how to make woven palm-leaf fish to decorate the centre for the anniversary. During this one of the kids hijacked my camera, so they played around with taking movies and pictures of themselves for a couple of hours (really- immediate entertainment! And my camera didn't even get dropped!). It was so nice to just sit with my kids and teach some of the younger ones how to make fish, and see how proud they were when they were capable of doing it! One little girl was so happy when she learned how to make one that she threw her arms around my neck and gave me a big kiss on my cheek, Haha, a little affirmation goes a long way! I then walked up to the main building that I teach in and some of the staff called me over, with a surprise ice cream cake waiting for me!! There's the CUTEST little girl at the centre who is only 1 year old, named Pancake. She is a vocational student's daughter, and she sat in the middle of the table wearing extra large pajama pants eating ice cream with her hands... oh it was adorable. She's starting to not be so afraid of me. Sarah and Jamie and I then went out for lunch at my favourite place, a little restaurant owned by Muslims that has my favourite soup - Khow Soy - for about 90cents(25Baht). It's delicious. The afternoon was spent writing and editing the finishing touches to a grant proposal for the government US state department of Trafficking In Persons (G/TIP) which was due, and then we were invited out to dinner with the Director and his friends that were visiting! He didn't know it was my birthday, but when he found out they all sang happy birthday to me :). It was so lovely... I love how they eat here; everything is communal; you are given rice, and then people spoon different side dishes on to your plate. Mmm... yeah.

What else? Things that make me happy are: sweetened warm milk in the evenings on my way home, some sketches I bought in Chiang Mai to decorate my bedroom, my duvet (that I am SO glad I brought! That thing comes with me everywhere. If you're thinking of buying a duvet, it's a worthy investment. It's been with me to England, two season of tree-planting, and now Thailand.), my pair of leather sandals a friend made me in Chiang Mai which I wear every day, and... oh, learning the names of the street vendors. The Roti lady's name is Bai Sai, and the Milk Man's name is Soh. Oh! And the Khow Pat Soy lady's name is Newee. When I told her my name she pointed to a Coke bottle... no, not Cola, 'Nicola'.

So, Jonna's scripture verse really made me think. When I was at the Muslim restaurant a beggar was there who was blind in one eye. I didn't have any food to give her and Sompop said not to give them money (many of them are trafficked and they don't get the money), so I felt helpless. When I' m at food stalls I usually just buy them one of whatever I'm getting, but we were in a sit-down place and they don't like to sit down and eat with you. I refuse to ignore them; one cannot ignore humanity - ignoring people robs them of the dignity of being human... yet she stood there, pointing to her eye, with her hand out. And I sat there, smiling sadly, looking her in the eye, and shaking my head. As Christians and people who believe in the redemptive power of Jesus, can we believe in actually opening eyes that are blind? On my way home tonight I stopped in front of a stranded British man who's motorcycle had broken down 60km South of there and he was trying to get back to it (at 10:30 at night). I stopped and chatted, told him how to hitch hike in Asia (I promise I have never done it, nor will do it, I had just read about how in Lonely Planet while Brad was here), which is much different than in the West, and he (very randomly) proceeded to tell me how guilt ridden and hypocritical Christianity is and how terrible Catholicism is, and etc etc. Man, I've never met one person that hasn't been hurt by Christians/ the Church saying one thing and doing the other. He went on to say that Christianity is a great set of morals, but hardly anyone lives by them. I told him that it's not really a set of morals, but a God who wanted his children to be with him, and so decided to fulfill the 'rigid set of rules' so we would not be judged by them, and instead can live in relationship with him. So, the key word is relationship, and in relationship we will naturally become more and more like Jesus himself. Someone (Tozer, maybe?) said that all sin comes from wrong thoughts on God, and an other from my Prof, 'lack of intimacy with God is how we measure our pain' (Gregg Finley... I'm sorry if I said it wrong, I couldn't find where I thought I knew it from). So Christian morals and disciplines (not the same thing) are not the spine of Christianity, they're helpers to keep us close and growing with God, and as you are more intimate and growing with God, it pours out in characteristics that are like him. Doesn't it? This seems to make sense to me, anyway. So how can we be those people that heal broken hearts instead of hurt? Genuine-ness; perfection is only a painful stereotype and should be throttled; patient open-ness. Those sound like a good start. We've got to be able to give the blind, the captives, and the poor more than sad, sorry smiles. Mmm. Son Jai. Interesting. I left the man at the side of the road with a, 'God Bless'. I thought inviting him to grab the wicker couch at my house was not the smartest thing to do :S. Hm. Son jai..

Well! That's about it for now. It's Saturday tomorrow and I am very determined to find somewhere to set up my slackline, a birthday present to myself. I heard there was a lake nearby, maybe I will check that out.

Blessings. Sorry if my theology is wrong; I can't understand the sermons here... they are in Thai ;).

Love Nicola