Oranges and Pomegranates

Last night I came down with a buat hua (bad headache) and a kaw jep (sore throat). This morning when I woke up after 10 hours of sleep I felt like the neighbour's pregnant cat had crawled into my throat for a nap. I attempted to read out stories, poems, and quotes on peace as well as Olympic medal results and weather updates (the smog is coming!) on DEPDC's Child Voice Radio's English hour this morning... only to realize I had forgotten to turn the mic on for the first half hour (I was actually so pleased with how I reacted to my mistake. Laughter is good for the soul. No need to get upset over something you can't help now. Thailand is good for me I think.) I went to a the Muslim restaurant for lunch and the spicy 'kaew suoy' mixture of noodles and chicken soothed my throat as I read some Paolo Coelho and guiltily waited for a beggar to leave.

Sometimes I challenge myself. If I can't provide a meal to a beggar, than I look him or her in the eye and tell them not today. Ignoring people completely is an insult to human dignity. And then they wait. Sometimes for five solid minutes. And sometimes I just use it as an exercise to not be pressed into something by guilt. I know that sounds terrible... but begging here is a huge trafficking problem and unless I know them I will not give them money. It's making me really look at why I do things (guilt doesn't seem like a good reason to do something).

I wandered the market feeling lonely and harassed by the vendors... though I get a kick out of answering in Thai when they greet me in English. I bought a lovely pink shirt. *gasp! Pink! I know. What is the world coming too? Don't worry... it has lime green swirls :).



Oranges. Pomegranates. Ptolamais (fruit) from the market eaten in abundance will chase my cold away.

I visited my friend the elderly Chinese man who owns a bag store in the market, sat and drank tea with him for while, and then went to drown myself in the comfort of an earl grey tea at the cafe while reading my online uni texts for this week. 'Interpersonal Conflict'.

I snapped a shot tonight in class... my new Burmese bag stuffed with school books and others. What I'm reading right now: The Valkyries by Paolo Coelho, and Punk Monk by Pete Greig and Andy Freeman.



"The best part of my day was when Nong Eh and I sat on the wall watching the sunset before English class"

At the end of every evening class we talk about the best and worst parts of our day.

After class Nong Eh (eleven years old. hilarious. but just... a little girl) turned up with a massive cup of water and pill that was for fevers. 'Gin yut yut!' (drink up!). We crept out on to the ledge on the roof, I played with her hair and we talked about the stars and about life. This Nong A playing on my bike while we waited for the bus together last week.

It's about that time again! With one month left, I must deal with the ensuing problem of where to live next. It's looking like tree-planting again. Learning French again... and biking to school in August. I was offered a job in BC at a river/camping outfitter's shop with some of the sweetest people in the world. I was contemplating today whether my decision to go tree-planting is a self-sabotage. You know when things are going really super well and you unconsciously think that you don't deserve it, and then unconsciously almost punish yourself... because you think things couldn't possibly keep being this good, so you decided to control it and bring it down yourself, you know? Oooo--eee! (<-- Thai idiosyncrasy I seemed to have picked up) I feel like I am a much harsher critic of myself that God is. He already paid the price, and living like He didn't doesn't help anybody. Cheers to shining and being a lamp and daring to squeeze out life like a lemon. Mm. who doesn't like lemonade now, really? I'll have to think about my summer a little bit more: living on a river in a kayak is truly tempting... but school needs to be paid for as well.

All Rain's wedding is tomorrow. I'm going to a pull a 'Grade 2 photo day' trick and braid my hair tonight so it will be curly in the morning :).

Eagerly awaiting mango season- the mangoes in the market are slowly becoming yellower and yellower... maybe in two weeks?

For now: At LEAST two days ahead filled with oranges and pomegranates. Lovely.

God bless you today :)

The smog is coming! The smog is coming! It seems as if the grey horizons are going to swallow the gorgeous blue winter sky whole in maybe a week or so? *sigh. I'm a sky person I think... often my attitude is dictated by whether there's a blue sky or not. Maybe that's why I'm so happy here? Constant crystal clear blue skies...

My time is almost coming to an end here. I'm leaving for KL to visit my friend Clarice on March 25th before going to England to visit the grandparents, and then home. I'm writing in the morning before school... with a hot cup of tea in a lime green mug, and a bowl of muesli drenched in milk topped with honey and bananas... in a lime green bowl ;). My laundry lady just popped by to collect laundry money. I had been to visit her on Monday night to give her some flowers for a late Valentines gift... the ladies who work at my favourite food stall had bestowed me with bunches of flowers (oh, the generosity. Even after sharing with the laundry lady a big bunch of carnations and pink roses sit on the head of my bed)-- this morning she came bearing little pastries for my lunch. She knows I will be leaving next month and today asked how many months I will be gone for... 'gansiksaw kong Nicola yang my set' -' my education isn't finished yet' - I will be gone for at least 20 months. Her broken little old lady glasses fogged up and she started to cry... she said she had been thinking and thinking about it for the past couple days and it had given her a 'buat hua'- a headache.

In the last couple weeks I feel like I've aged a year. A student in my evening class decided she wanted to follow Jesus instead of Buddha and became a Christian. My friend Orang was forced to have a shotgun wedding - happening this coming Saturday - as he had been found kissing his girlfriend in her house. Anger to dissappointment to unwavering love and support. I also got baptized at a dump in Myanmar last Saturday. I wrote a massive e-mail about it but its too big to put up on here... please let me know if you'de like me to send it to you... it's a pretty cool story.

Yet... even though my life seems so busy and dramatic and - I would say lovely - still.. the most favourite parts of my day are... hm. the sun rays that comes through the slats in the bathroom in the morning. The little ledge on the roof I can sit on at the centre after evening classes to watch the stars. Chatting to a teacher at the Burmese school. Washing my feet in the evenings. Listening to crickets as I fall asleep. Fallen flowers on a path.

God bless you today :)

being consciously

I sit here, computer in typing distance, text in reading distance, and food in friend distance. Milk and cookies make me feel less alone, and like I have an alternative to my present reality. Like if I should decide at any moment that I am quite bored with this or don’t understand, I can subject myself to the glory of chocolate and milk.

(in-between-the-lines thoughts while making text notes on an online class reading)

(thanks to my monks for treating me to a gift of chocolate cookies. yum.)

from inward/outward

Becoming the World

By Henri J. M. Nouwen on 02-04-2010

When I really bring others into my innermost being and feel their pains, their struggles, their cries in my own soul, then I leave myself, so to speak, and become them; then I have compassion. Compassion lies at the heart of our prayer for our fellow human beings. When I pray for the world, I become the world; when I pray for the endless needs of the millions, my soul expands and wants to embrace them all and bring them into the presence of God. But in the midst of that experience I realize that compassion is not mine but God's gift to me. I cannot embrace the world, but God can.

• The Genesee Diary

e-mail to myself.

You can do it Nicola! You can do it.

Remember. You have GOOD ideas, even though you can't always see the big picture you've got the little steps really well! You can't do everything, but what you can do, you will do. Use your trusty Canadian education, and always act out of your firm belief in equality and human rights! woop woop!

-yourself.

(an e-mail I sent myself while I was sending attachments. and then realized I was actually writing an encouragement note to myself... and thought it was too funny not to share. You should try it. What would you write in an e-mail note to yourself?)

just news

Holler friends! If you're not on my e-mail list and you want to celebrate with me, comment to tell me you want me to send you an e-mail ;).

My evening class of monks (which keep expanding... :S) and my friend KiangSen, who attends from the local jewellery factory.


On a side note, I also ended up entering into a race last weekend (of which I am still feeling the painful side-effects from... I couldn't even ride my bike earlier this week. This is what comes from not training), the 'Mai Sai Mini Marathon'. I had a lovely time and actually ended up winning in my division! I also got to see more of Mai Sai as we ran along the little mountain side-streets (also very painful hills). In the picture you can see Lois, a missionary's daughter from Singapore who attends the Burmese Church, Elphia also from Singapore as a missionary, myself, and the race coordinator. It was a lovely time of making new friends and having fun with old ones :).