Sometimes I challenge myself. If I can't provide a meal to a beggar, than I look him or her in the eye and tell them not today. Ignoring people completely is an insult to human dignity. And then they wait. Sometimes for five solid minutes. And sometimes I just use it as an exercise to not be pressed into something by guilt. I know that sounds terrible... but begging here is a huge trafficking problem and unless I know them I will not give them money. It's making me really look at why I do things (guilt doesn't seem like a good reason to do something).
I wandered the market feeling lonely and harassed by the vendors... though I get a kick out of answering in Thai when they greet me in English. I bought a lovely pink shirt. *gasp! Pink! I know. What is the world coming too? Don't worry... it has lime green swirls :).
Oranges. Pomegranates. Ptolamais (fruit) from the market eaten in abundance will chase my cold away.
I visited my friend the elderly Chinese man who owns a bag store in the market, sat and drank tea with him for while, and then went to drown myself in the comfort of an earl grey tea at the cafe while reading my online uni texts for this week. 'Interpersonal Conflict'.
I snapped a shot tonight in class... my new Burmese bag stuffed with school books and others. What I'm reading right now: The Valkyries by Paolo Coelho, and Punk Monk by Pete Greig and Andy Freeman.
"The best part of my day was when Nong Eh and I sat on the wall watching the sunset before English class"
At the end of every evening class we talk about the best and worst parts of our day.
After class Nong Eh (eleven years old. hilarious. but just... a little girl) turned up with a massive cup of water and pill that was for fevers. 'Gin yut yut!' (drink up!). We crept out on to the ledge on the roof, I played with her hair and we talked about the stars and about life. This Nong A playing on my bike while we waited for the bus together last week.
It's about that time again! With one month left, I must deal with the ensuing problem of where to live next. It's looking like tree-planting again. Learning French again... and biking to school in August. I was offered a job in BC at a river/camping outfitter's shop with some of the sweetest people in the world. I was contemplating today whether my decision to go tree-planting is a self-sabotage. You know when things are going really super well and you unconsciously think that you don't deserve it, and then unconsciously almost punish yourself... because you think things couldn't possibly keep being this good, so you decided to control it and bring it down yourself, you know? Oooo--eee! (<-- Thai idiosyncrasy I seemed to have picked up) I feel like I am a much harsher critic of myself that God is. He already paid the price, and living like He didn't doesn't help anybody. Cheers to shining and being a lamp and daring to squeeze out life like a lemon. Mm. who doesn't like lemonade now, really? I'll have to think about my summer a little bit more: living on a river in a kayak is truly tempting... but school needs to be paid for as well.
All Rain's wedding is tomorrow. I'm going to a pull a 'Grade 2 photo day' trick and braid my hair tonight so it will be curly in the morning :).
Eagerly awaiting mango season- the mangoes in the market are slowly becoming yellower and yellower... maybe in two weeks?
For now: At LEAST two days ahead filled with oranges and pomegranates. Lovely.
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