'on the way back'. a lovely concept.

Katie Ironside has just pointed out that my departure from Thailand was exactly a year after I left the first time, with our class at SSU. I suppose this must have some unconscious meaning, yet eludes me at the moment and so will leave it as an interesting anecdote.

I’m currently in transit on my way back to Canada from Thailand. I’m in dreary yet lovely London at the moment, as ‘on the way back’ is a lovely concept when you’re on the other side of the world, and nearly everything except for Vancouver and Hawaii is ‘on the way’. I’m currently visiting with family and friends.

I’m up early this morning, hungry and thinking of all the Thai food I would love to eat... having an imaginary conversation in Thai with a food vendor in my head as I lie in bed, trying to come to terms with invariably losing this language that I’ve worked hard to learn. Such is jetlag. Yet, I did tend to wake up at 6am in Thailand as well.

croissants. yum. much better than green curry in the morning.

I will reserve the next blog for writing about my trip to Laos. Methinks it deserves some blog space : )

painting for peace

Last Friday my CLC class of Novice Monks and I chatted about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and what that means to us.

On Monday we finished our lesson 15 minutes after class was supposed to be finished. They had completed their 1 1/2 hour English exam (with flying colours... I just marked them) and listened to a song that my friend Andrew had made from a poem La (one of the students) had liked.

When class was over (late, as always), they still sat. Moei asked if we could read the four points of the UDHR again that I had introduced on Friday. We read them all together again, and I assigned their last journal article, to be handed in today, Wednesday. Just... their thoughts :)

Human rights have useful to people. If not have human right. It must be born sell people and buy people. The people not have rights. The people don't obey each other. don't understand each other. If not have nationality don't know who is who. who live where. If not have Universal Declaration if must born World War III. Universal Declaration important to people. - Moei

My country don't a rights and free. because. My country is communist. don't have dignity and rights. the residents of a country don't is rights election as not equal same other country. I wan my country Burma all people are born equal, free, and have dignity and rights.
- Dang

Tonight, Wednesday night, was our last night together. On Saturday morning I am leaving for Laos with the DEPDC team until I fly out next Thursday. We went over the tests from Monday, learned one more article from the UDHR concerning the right to genuine elections (in light of Myanmar's upcoming election), and then spent the rest of the class painting our thoughts towards the human rights lesson content. Dang said he had never painted before, and so we all learned together, how to mix colours, to clean the brushes in the water before we used them again, and how to spray the paper to make little dots all over (La had fun with this... he's the smiling one spraying his paper with green paint). They painted the little cd cases I had made for them (I burned each a cd of songs we had used in class) and pieces of canvas an artist had given me in Chiang Mai. Most of them painted the Shan flag. Shan is their nationality, even though they are from Myanmar. Because they're not ethnic Burmese or ethnic Thai neither country will give them citizenship. Here, they are termed, 'stateless', or 'undocumented'. There are many minority ethnicities/nationalities in Thailand and Myanmar, all whom aren't citizens of any recognized country. "If not have nationality don't know who is who. who live where." Hm. Man, these are some smart monks. I feel so honoured to have been their teacher. I hope you have also been blessed by the reflection, peace, simplicity, and quiet learning these teenage boys continually demonstrate.

exhausted quite.

You know when you look in your mirror and think, 'oh, I forgot to wash off my mascara'. And remember, 'oh wait, I don't wear mascara...' *sigh. That was me this morning, even after my housemate let me sleep in until 10:30am... I don't think I have ever slept that late as long as I've been here. I feel exhausted in every sense, I am making lists upon lists just so I can cross something off and feel like I'm catching up with myself :).


This past week my kids presented the play we had been working on for the last couple months: the first every English play at DEPDC- this year, 'Peter Pan'! Our aim was to encourage the audience that English isn't so hard, and perhaps by seeing their children and friends speak it, they would try harder at their studies or, if they were one of the adults or parents in attendance, to join an evening class. It was very, very fun :).


Do you remember KiangSaen? She was one of my students in my evening classes... she went to Bangkok about a month or two ago with her brother, even though she didn't want to go. I hadn't heard from her and didn't know what she was going to do. On Sunday after Church I got a call from her for the first time since she left! She called to say she was safe and she was planning on coming back to Mae Sai for June to begin class at Mum Cherry's Bible College. Yes. Please Celebrate with me. Throw your hat in the air. And keep praying :).


After exams on Monday (yesterday) I went to Tachileik to visit with my friend Menut. I had brought her a birthday present. A single pearl on a silver chain. It was late... I always take a while to decide what to give. Menut is... lovely. She is strong and pure in heart. I want to learn from her, how to guard my heart. Once a man told me, when I had asked why he so persisted in pursuing me, that when someone finds a treasure, he sells everything else he owns in order to have that treasure... I wanted to give Menut a pearl so she would always remember that she is a priceless treasure. She started her first day in a seven-day prayer walk around her neighborhood this morning. Please pray for her safety as she walks each morning this week.


I love to go to her house... I love to sit on her porch and watch life go by. I adore that city. Her Mum wanted to give me something to remember Myanmar that I could not get in Canada... and so she had me choose some material that she had and made me my very only longi (sp?). The skirt that wraps around your waste... I adore it. It's lovely. I can't wait to wear it to Church on Sunday. This is her Mum making it for me. I am amazed by this woman. Amazed. I watched her fix her fence, fix her sewing machine, sew up a longi, make lunch- I kept telling Menut how her Mum was so similar to mine. I wish they could meet... I really do. Her Mum has started calling me 'Ackah', the third daughter. When I needed to leave to make it back to Thailand in time, she wrapped two hunks of salted meat together that she had bought specially for the occasion; newspaper, string tied tight, and a bag. A present for first mother, from second mother. So... as long as Air Asia and WestJet will let me take salted meat home in my luggage, I am bringing home a special present for you, Mum. A present for first mother, from second mother.


hm. she also offered her sandals to me after she saw mine... the hole in the sole of my left sandal is getting bigger... perhaps when an elderly single Mom from Myanmar offers you her shoes, it's time to invest in another pair :S.

class

After reviewing directions and characteristics, we delved into the UDHR. First. history. Why do we need to declare that every human being has inherent rights? Made after WWII, country leaders intended to draw up a universal list of rights for all humanity, to ...

hm. after much board-sketching and charades, we all understood that we are talking about WWII. I drew out from them facts about the war: what countries were involved? what happened? I asked them about what happened in Germany, as the UDHR was largely a response to the atrocities committed during the holocaust.

nothing! wow. My monks had never learned this. But- I was certain-- I continued pressing the topic, giving more clues, even drawing the stereotypical face of Hitler with his moustache. Nothing. They'de never even heard his name before. Interesting- we get tricked into thinking that knowledge just comes with age... but it really does come with education ;).

After giving a brief overview of WWII, we talked about 4 articles of the Declaration. At the end, I asked them what they thought. There were wide smiles all around the table and nodding, 'very good, very good'. Moei said that if people do not listen to the rules there will be another world war.

Yes. He understands. The concept that where human rights are deprived, there is violence. Perhaps not direct violence, 'just' structural violence, but that if not creatively and gracefully dealt with, will transform into direct violence. People can only be treated as less than human for so long, and then their inherent right to dignity clicks in. Interesting.

That was a good class. It's always a good class when the teacher learns just as much as the students :).

The Summer Day, by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

(stolen from Ashley Burtch's blog at http://ashburtch.wordpress.com/)

But I want to.

pre-script: when did I get so controversial and opinionated? oh dear me.

I just watched Avatar. The media guy, Phi Kon, gave it to us today because it didn't have Thai on it. Blatantly illegal copies... good times :S. The last time I went to Chiang Mai I met an Akha natural healer on the bus on the way there. He works at the Akha Association in Chiang Rai. He told me to watch it, as it is supposedly packed with symbolism, about colonialism, about human rights. He was a great man... the only guy in six villages to graduate from University. He had a quiet peace about him... very calming. He is working on health education media projects within remote Akha villages.


I'm not sure if it directly correlates... but I want to write about last night. Last night we (the vols) were invited to our friend's NGO, called 'Ban Doyy' (spelled weird here for google sake). Ban Doyy is a healing centre for kids affected by HIV AIDS, and was started by two European women, Phi Kate and Babsi. My friend Gaywaa and went to the lake for the afternoon, so he came along for the campfire at Ban Doy as well. I was ... accustomed. sort of. with the Thai perception of 'Burmese', but I'm still shocked every time. Once when Gaywaa dropped me off from dinner with Mum Cherry I invited him to meet my land ladies. He asked if they were Thai - 'yeah' - okay, I think its better if I leave... whhattt?? I am thankful for my Canadian education (and also the culture/education of my family probably too) that I firmly believe that we are all equals. Firmly. I know the hurt and the stereotypes run deep, but arrogant people with narrow minds who choose not to listen to common sense - I feel sorry for them. From Phi A, my land lady, who has warned me repeatedly not to be friends with people from Myanmar, 'Phi Nicci, they are not kon Thai (Thai people), you cannot trust them', to Phi Kon, Phi Kate's Thai boyfriend who also lives at Ban Doyy who refused to recognize a word that came from Gaywaa's mouth, harshly and sarcastically repeating that he doesn't understand him, to the eldest girl staying at Baan Doi who also refused to let the other kids talk to Gaywaa. Oh, dang. I had no idea. I know I need to recognize the conflict and spite between the two countries... but I just really thinks it's so stupid. Especially when people heap a whole country's stereotype on one person. Gaywaa's not even Burmese, he's Karen - he was forced to learn Burmese in school, as they had banned teaching the minority dialects. Anyway. I don't know how much that has to do with Avatar. But... it feels like it does a bit. The other day Phi A (land lady) struck up the courage to ask me where my 'Burmese' friends were, and even that I could invite them to be with us. I know that took a lot of pride-swallowing and open-mindedness on her part, and I am grateful for the effort. I'm glad I don't have to jump over hurdles to believe in an other's dignity and equality. But just as I was educated in that way, they were educated differently, so one cannot blame them- something so contrary to common sense could only be institutionalized and force fed. Hm. Though... I may get slightly offended when someone assumes I am from America. I think I do it more for fun though... and now I shall stop. I'm sorry for being narrow minded for the sake of my humour and my pride. Encouraging stereotypes and disrespect - just. really. doesn't. help. anyone. Prejudices aren't a fact because you learned them, they are the material of ignorance; the failure to self-reflect and find creative solutions.

I am speaking out of line... I don't understand. But I want to.

Thoughts from here #2

Some Hmong needlework designs I found in a shop in a border town near Laos on Saturday. Beautiful.


Having fun on the back of Sarah's motor-cy on the way back from an other friend's wedding on Saturday. I can't believe how much fun I have missed out on by just realizing now that I can make faces in the back of Sarah's shiney helmet! H'amazing.


On Sunday after Church I was looking forward to spending an afternoon at the lake with Gaywaa and some others, and was disappointed when he had to change his border pass instead. But then, my friend Thae Thae called and we spent the entire afternoon chatting and praying together. She was off from YWAM translating duties for two days and made the trip up to Mae Sai. She is the one I met on the bus down to Chiang Mai on Boxing Day. Last month she started renting our Church's old kindergarten building in order to transform it into a youth drop-in centre: a place for people to pray, to sleep, to learn, to laugh, to cry, to be. This is the beginning of her dream we talked about on the bus! She gave me a tour of the run down building and we prayed over it. Wow. This place is perfect. Really. Really really. Close to the border, right downtown and behind the market, yet quiet. I'm sold. This is the front of the building- it's shaded by overhanging vines and is private from the street by a bushy bamboo fence. It's so beautiful... in a yearning to be redeemed kind of way :). We sat in a cafe and talked about what her next steps will be. I wrote down a list of things she needs to include in a letter asking for a sponsor/sponsors. She will send it to me when it is finished for me to proper-English-ize. Oh wow... I want to be part of this. I want to paint the building and have a paint fight in 6 different languages, I want to help her design a cafe under the vines, I want to plant a garden on the wide ledge next to the laundry balcony, I want to clear the backyard and plant vegetables.

embrace of grace #5708

"God cares way more about me getting to know Him than what I can "do" for Him."

Wise words of the day from my friend Geoff. He is in Africa as an International Development Studies intern. You can find his blog here.

http://pilgrimperspectivesfrompemba.blogspot.com/

It's neat how we are both learning this simple gospel fact in places that would stereotypically need our 'help' the most.

Yesterday I went to a wedding at the Burmese Church. My friend All Rain's wife ran up to me after the service and gave me a big hug. I'm SO glad she speaks Thai... I feel like we share a secret language in a sea of Burmese speakers. I had been looking for her in the congregation but couldn't find her-- and was overjoyed that she had come and I got to see her again. After hugging and chatting I turned to All Rain and exclaimed, 'your wife is beautiful!' I so, so yearn to be here longer to establish a real relationship with her... I feel like we could be like sisters. God definitely has a sense of humour. Praise His name.

I am trying to read the beatitudes every day of lent... and the more I read them... and the more I live... I'm beginning to think he was actually being completely straightforward and serious... so blatant its almost funny.

soaking.

I think I’m soaking again... ;)

I get in a bit of a phase before I leave or go anywhere. I intentionally open up all my senses and... soak. So much of the time I’m focused and business-oriented, unconsciously blocking my senses out unless I need them to accomplish my goal. When I am preparing myself to leave somewhere though... I want to remember the smell, the feel, the sounds, my mood, the atmosphere. I can take myself back to a canoe trip on the Spanish river, swimming down the rapids in the sunset. I can re-experience the last night of our time alone on the Buffalo River in Arkansas, before I and the Summit students joined the staff and interns again. I can feel the wet mud soaking through my clothes on my last mountain bike race, and the taste of coronation chicken atop chalk cliffs on my last day with my mentor in England. I can smell the scent of wet leaves as I walked along our country road for the last time before our house would be sold while I am away. And now... I’m soaking. I feel like I have trained myself to soak continuously. My friend asked me why I haven’t written a blog recently... I think it’s because I’ve been soaking? Soaking up the smells, the laughter of friends, the calls of children, the facial expressions of my monks, the cloudy stars, the crickets, the smell of incense. My heart groans.

I’m leaving Mae Sai in three weeks... mmmmm and I’m soaking it all up : )

Mango season has arrived in all it's glory.



Hanging bananas on our window to ripen. Did you know if you hang bananas they don't go black? genius.